UNITY IN DIVERSITY

I was shocked to death when I had heard the news from my friend half an hour ago. I had dismissed all hopes and slept. I had slept only for half an hour when my father woke me up with the regular exam day fanfare. “Getup its 7’0 clock, revise the syllabus, go for a walk, bathe, eat well….”. This unending list was interrupted by my mother when she said, “My darling studied for the whole night. He will surely get centum. Let him sleep for another half hour”

It was 8’o clock. My mom was ready with the break fast. I started eating. It was nice. I didn’t realize other things happening twenty minutes later I was in the train. I had still not come out of the shock. Some of my train friends were studying. I sat next to them. They are a bunch of casual people who study only important questions. They have a unique way of mugging things. I asked, “Machaan, what are the steps in A search algorithm? “.
He said “B A L A D O M P A “. I looked at him like a person detained at an airport in Russia. In reply he said, "dei these are the starting letters of each point. Don’t ask me anything more". Scolding him, I asked another friend the same question, He shouted PAPARA PAPARA PAAA…….. (Sound of a trumpet). It is understood that when a person shouts PAPARA PAPARA PAA…….he will keep an arrear that day because he knows nothing.

Giving him a funny look, I started studying alone. I have always wondered how these guys are so cool. When I reached college auditorium, I saw a sea of students studying. For a moment I thought that I had entered a mental asylum. People were talking to themselves, some worried some laughing and some where even crying (girls) .There were students from every discipline. I reached a corner where I could read something alone, in the next 45 minutes.

I opened the book and started studying, it was like reading the proof for theory of relativity without knowing what theory of relativity is. I understood nothing. I went around trying to learn something from others. First I went near the gang of big shots in the class. I had heard them talking about a possible paper leak out two days ago. I thought I could get some questions. I was wrong. The leader of the gang had changed the topic. Now it was about a possible paper chase. I steered left. There was this gang concentrating like a group of doctors performing surgery. They were preparing bits........

Definition- Bits: they are tiny pieces of paper containing important formulas written with a font which requires a magnifying glass.

These people are like the farmers of INDIA. Like the farmer who is dependent on the monsoon and weather which is not under his control these people depend on many things which are not under their control.

1) first the invigilator must be lenient
2) The answers they write in the bit must be asked in the question paper.
3) They should understand what they have written.
And yet they prefer to take bits instead of studying. Height of optimism, isn’t it?
These people have an established bureaucracy within themselves. People who get caught while copying are called the martyrs. They are responsible for giving tips to novices. The person who can copy even under the nose of an invigilator is the leader and will dictate orders.

I steered right I met this guy who offered me to teach every thing. I was delighted to hear this. Then he opened the remotest part of the book and started teaching me something which had the remotest chance of coming in the exam. I realized that he was revising it by explaining to me. I thanked him halfway and proceeded. I met the soothsayer of the class. He is the person who predicts the question which will come for that day’s exam. Unfortunately almost none of what he says turns out in the exam.

At one corner I saw a group of people with dull faces and blood shot eyes. They were called the daynighters. They have accumulated so many arrears that they wrote 2 papers a day. There are people who even play test matches. They would have studied all night. that explains why they a cold stare from the invigilators. I once asked one of this daynighters “will you win the match today?" He smiled and said, "playing is not about winning , its all about participating”
I put the same question to another guy he said “I am tired today so, match abandoned. I heard later that he was seen sleeping in the exam.
What is life without girls? I saw girl gangs too. In spite of them studying every thing they were creating a scene saying they didn’t study anything.
I even heard one of them saying; “hey I forgot to write a two mark question in the last exam yaar”. I laughed to myself. I was ecstatic that I left only one 16 mark question but, this girl is worried…… had I left only one 2 mark, I would have treated all my friends in the nayar tea shop. I moved forward, finally I met a group who were revising important points. Finally I started to learn some thing. I was without luck that day.
The short bell rang. It meant that there was only 5 minutes for the exam to start.

All the students (including me) described above may have different ways of preparing for the exam but, our goals are one and the same. CLEAR the paper. Like they say, there is unity in diversity in this country. The dialogue which gave me the shock ran in my mind.

6:30 AM

Me: hello da, have you studied?
Friend: some what, what about you?
Me: last unit da, heuristic techniques remaining.
Friend: what? It is signal processing.
Me: yei, its algorithm paper na?
Friend: no da its tomorrow, its electronics today.

I had studied the wrong paper.

I laughed at myself. Suddenly I was happy. I went to the middle of the hall and shouted “PAPPARA PAPARA PAAA……”
Every one understood and laughed and went to write the exam.

Epilogue :

I received the question paper.

It looked Greek and Latin to me. There was a murmur that the paper was tough. I laughed, tough or easy it is one and the same for me.

Two months later the results came. I had scored 2 marks. I still gave a treat to my friends in the nayar tea shop. I thought I was the last in the department. Thank god there was one guy who had scored 0. Deserves a treat doesn’t it?

O.k. people until I meet u next time, the cost of one set dosa will be 7 rupees at Ganesh bhavan, Westmambalam.