Me and my girlfriend standing in the bank of Ganges in Nepal.

After a long time

The job which i took up on january 2 2006 had kept me busy till yesterday

Now i am back

Got an old volkswagen golf mark-1 (1981 model) - made in west germany*

*.......well , east and west germany united later

Probably I am the only person who bought his first car in life which didn't start

Above that i must be the first person who saw his first car running not because of it engine but being pulled by another car

Will give more info on this soon

DIA UNO

For those of you who do not understand the title, that is "Day one" in spanish

Today was my first day at the office. Its a small networking school filled with a handful of talented network engineers. I went and met the boss of the company. He welcomed me. The first task which was given to me was to take a look at the 100 routers installed in the lab for half hour. I went into the room and looked at them. It looked like a cockpit of an alien space ship to me. I have theoretical knowledge about routers and their technology but seeing so many for the first time was totally confusing. I observed everything carefully. I started counting the routers. At the end of half hour I mastered a lesson. I can now easily count upto hundred backwards in less than a minute.

The boss came in

"well Mr.Rajesh what have you learnt in the past half hour ?"
I almost started to count upto 100 backwards but realised that I would become the first person in history who got fired in 30 minutes and stopped.

(Read this in kamal hasan style)
"Well....., Sir,...I learnt how these routers have been connected with other networking devices"

" Good Mr.Rajesh. Will you be able to handle these devices in the absence of others? "

" Certainly sir "

" Thats good "

I had a sigh of relief. I thanked my stars. Then he introduced me to the team working there and left. The first thing I did was to download the photos of routers and read the instructions on how to use it.

I was told that my part of the job was to allot routers according to the topology for the students who come to work in the lab. A senior administrator taught me how to allot the routers for a basic network setup. I was asked to do the same for a student.I muffed it up so badly that i brought down two routers. They had to bring it up after a few minutes of struggle. I was emabarrased that I would be scolded in front of everybody. Thank go, They were friendly and didn't take it seriously.
They have given me two days to brush up my skills. I am keeping my fingers crossed.


O.K, people, Until I meet you next time.........
Jingme Singye Wangchuck will be the king of Bhutan.......

"THANK GOD" Its over

At last!
The year which was topsy turvy for me is finally getting over.........I am very happy now. Well, I will tell the reason for my happiness at the end of this blog. My bike ran out of petrol today and I had to push my 350cc bullet in the hot sun. With the petrol bunk at a long distance and no company......I was thinking about my life in 2005.

The year 2005 started with a bang for me....All my friends switched of the lights, when the clock struck twelve in the room we were partying, and i banged my head really hard on a table.My final year project was at cross roads in early january. The reason for this is an interesting one. We had approached a small networking company for a project and got one in 2004. When we went back to the company in january, It was not in the place it used to be. We were told that the company had been acquired by another company and they didn't have any clue of who we were.I had to beg a professor there to assist us in our networking project.
My project involved VPN concepts....I had no clue what VPN was when the guide explained me, I had to join a certification course in networking to understand and work on the project effectively.

My results came as a breather in this situation..I had cleared all the eleven papers I appeared. For the first time in my life I had no standing arrears.It was good.I attended the recruitment exams of 2 software companies but didn't make it ....as for the other companies I didn't have much interest and didn't attend at all. The final year project got over by march. I sincerely think that these final year projects are the biggest eyewash mankind has ever seen.The only gain I had was the certification course i did on networking devices like routers and switches.

I arranged a trip to kodaikannal. Since this was the final college tour I had lots of plans but my class mates had their own plans. The tour was a complete Fiasco. First, almost all my best friends deserted me. They were either lovestruck or heartbroken. Second, because of the lavishness of the hotel, party,vehicles and the itinerary I was running short of money and no one cared about it....They simply boycotted the get together.
I ended up boozing alone on the road till midnight.On top of eveything, a good friend of mine who looks pretty when she smiles broke her front tooth in an accident.She got depressed.Thank god her pretty face has been restored by advancements in medicine.

Few Weeks after college ended,I got placed in a company called sutherland. It is business process outsourcing company. They recruited me for working in a process outsorced by DELL computers. I worked only in the nights for five months.Never saw daylight.I earned a lot because of the incentives.I also learned a lot in hardware since it was a technical process and I had to troubleshoot problems on computers through phone. I was completely satisfied with the job but not for too long.After the financial quarter they brought in a lot of changes and made the process semi technical...I had to pocket a lot of insults and dissatisfaction from the customers who by the way were not indians. I decided to quit the job on november because of job dissatisfaction.

When i was working , I had to part with many friends from my gang. they either went abroad or to other parts of the country.I spent the last one and a half months at home as a loner reading books enjoying my lonliness.
Now on the last day of this year, I have got a job as a network administrator in a networking school. They have asked me to report on january 2, the first working day of the year 2006.
hope this year turns out well.

O.k. people, until I meet you next time, BHUTAN will be a monarchy till 2008.

GOD SURELY PLAYED DICE.........

This blog is not by any means anti racial. Its aim is not to hurt anyone.

The author has tried to humorously depict the plight of the people who are born with dark brown skin in a country like India where beauty and white skin go hand in hand.

Prerequisite:
Vocabulary

Kaka – crow.
The species of crow which is black all over except for the neck which is grey in color. Apart from being a bird it also holds another privilege in India. It is the vehicle of Saniswaran ( god of trouble). Why is there a god for trouble? Only god knows.

Andang kaka – The species of crow which is black all over from head to toe.

THE STORY

Astronomy guru Stephen hawking once said “god does not play dice”.

I don’t know whether god played dice when he created the universe but he surely played dice each and every time he created people who are born with black skin. I do not mean the Afro Americans. I am referring to entities like Murugan, Kumaran, Kandan, gowri etc., who may be sitting next to you. It is not a problem if all the members of your race are dark skinned. It surely is a problem if your race is funny enough to have people with skin colours ranging from white to all shades of brown and even black. You won’t understand what I am saying if you are one of those boys or girls who are fair enough.

His house went jubilant the moment it was declared that he was a boy. He was the first son to his parents. Exactly on the 10th day from the date of his birth he was christened Selvam. His father proudly said to others “I have named him Selvam because he will bring me all the riches in the world “. Selvam’s father leaned and looked at him. He was a beautiful, healthy baby with all the sharp features. Slowly, he said “Karuppa erundhalum kallaya erukan” (he is charismatic though he is black). If he had brains then, he would have asked, “Why what is wrong with the colour black?” He was only 10days old. He wore an innocent smile. Little did he know that his colour would play a significant role in his life.


He led a life like any other baby until he was 3 years old. He thought all his friends were equals. Every one had two hands and two legs although he didn’t understand why some of his friends were lifted more frequently by big girls than some of his other friends. He didn’t realize that he belonged to the list of friends who were lifted and cajoled less frequently.

It all started when he was nicknamed kaka (crow). No one explained him that crow is a beautiful black bird with a beautiful beak and flawless features. To him kaka meant that he is black skinned when compared to others. For that moment he was pleased that he was called kaka because there was a boy in his class who was called Andang kaka. Selvam himself would call the boy andang kaka. Little did he know that he was denigrating a class of people to which he himself belonged. Little did he know that his fair skinned counterparts are creating an illusion that being white is more beautiful than being black.

He was taught that the white piece gets to make the first move in the game of chess. He didn’t have the brains to ask, why? What is wrong if the black piece makes the first move? The white coin fetches more points than the black coin in the game of carrom. For this too he didn’t know the reason. Unbeknownst to him the illusion was becoming stronger. Sometimes he would complain to his mother that his friends are teasing him. She would say “who told you that you are dark? You are fair and you look like an angel”.
She must have told him that being black is as same as being white. She must have told him that he is no different from others. She failed to teach to defend himself unlike the mother of all other species. Instead she gave him tips and creams to become fair.

The illusion at the back of his mind became a reality one day when he told his friend that he is in love with a girl. When his friend asked how she looked? Selvam said “she is fair and beautiful. She is disturbing me a lot man.” What made him say this…….

He took great efforts to impress her. He talked to her sweetly, he cared for her. He loved her. He thought she was his girl. Destiny had other plans. There came a boy who took fewer efforts to impress her. He talked with her sweetly but not as sweet as Selvam did. But she talked with him more closely than she did with Selvam.

There was nothing wrong on her part. She was a young girl who had to make a choice between two boys. She chose the other boy who was fair.

Selvam cried that night. He was asking 1000 questions in front of the mirror. The questions ranged from , why should the white piece make the first move? to what can I do if I was born black? . Suddenly his mind became clear. He felt light. He woke up early the next morning and was going thru the paper. He came across an advertisement in the classifieds which said

Groom wanted:

An educated fair boy from a decent family wanted………….

He didn’t read the rest. He threw the paper and came out to his verandah. There he saw the girl next door whom he had missed all these years. She had talked with him before but, she looked different now. She was tall with brown smooth skin. She had sharp facial features. She was beautiful.

Selvam has come out of the illusion but there are thousands who still apply tons of fairness cream on their faces not knowing the beauty of being black.



O.k. people, until I meet you next time, the year 2572 will be a leap year.

UNITY IN DIVERSITY

I was shocked to death when I had heard the news from my friend half an hour ago. I had dismissed all hopes and slept. I had slept only for half an hour when my father woke me up with the regular exam day fanfare. “Getup its 7’0 clock, revise the syllabus, go for a walk, bathe, eat well….”. This unending list was interrupted by my mother when she said, “My darling studied for the whole night. He will surely get centum. Let him sleep for another half hour”

It was 8’o clock. My mom was ready with the break fast. I started eating. It was nice. I didn’t realize other things happening twenty minutes later I was in the train. I had still not come out of the shock. Some of my train friends were studying. I sat next to them. They are a bunch of casual people who study only important questions. They have a unique way of mugging things. I asked, “Machaan, what are the steps in A search algorithm? “.
He said “B A L A D O M P A “. I looked at him like a person detained at an airport in Russia. In reply he said, "dei these are the starting letters of each point. Don’t ask me anything more". Scolding him, I asked another friend the same question, He shouted PAPARA PAPARA PAAA…….. (Sound of a trumpet). It is understood that when a person shouts PAPARA PAPARA PAA…….he will keep an arrear that day because he knows nothing.

Giving him a funny look, I started studying alone. I have always wondered how these guys are so cool. When I reached college auditorium, I saw a sea of students studying. For a moment I thought that I had entered a mental asylum. People were talking to themselves, some worried some laughing and some where even crying (girls) .There were students from every discipline. I reached a corner where I could read something alone, in the next 45 minutes.

I opened the book and started studying, it was like reading the proof for theory of relativity without knowing what theory of relativity is. I understood nothing. I went around trying to learn something from others. First I went near the gang of big shots in the class. I had heard them talking about a possible paper leak out two days ago. I thought I could get some questions. I was wrong. The leader of the gang had changed the topic. Now it was about a possible paper chase. I steered left. There was this gang concentrating like a group of doctors performing surgery. They were preparing bits........

Definition- Bits: they are tiny pieces of paper containing important formulas written with a font which requires a magnifying glass.

These people are like the farmers of INDIA. Like the farmer who is dependent on the monsoon and weather which is not under his control these people depend on many things which are not under their control.

1) first the invigilator must be lenient
2) The answers they write in the bit must be asked in the question paper.
3) They should understand what they have written.
And yet they prefer to take bits instead of studying. Height of optimism, isn’t it?
These people have an established bureaucracy within themselves. People who get caught while copying are called the martyrs. They are responsible for giving tips to novices. The person who can copy even under the nose of an invigilator is the leader and will dictate orders.

I steered right I met this guy who offered me to teach every thing. I was delighted to hear this. Then he opened the remotest part of the book and started teaching me something which had the remotest chance of coming in the exam. I realized that he was revising it by explaining to me. I thanked him halfway and proceeded. I met the soothsayer of the class. He is the person who predicts the question which will come for that day’s exam. Unfortunately almost none of what he says turns out in the exam.

At one corner I saw a group of people with dull faces and blood shot eyes. They were called the daynighters. They have accumulated so many arrears that they wrote 2 papers a day. There are people who even play test matches. They would have studied all night. that explains why they a cold stare from the invigilators. I once asked one of this daynighters “will you win the match today?" He smiled and said, "playing is not about winning , its all about participating”
I put the same question to another guy he said “I am tired today so, match abandoned. I heard later that he was seen sleeping in the exam.
What is life without girls? I saw girl gangs too. In spite of them studying every thing they were creating a scene saying they didn’t study anything.
I even heard one of them saying; “hey I forgot to write a two mark question in the last exam yaar”. I laughed to myself. I was ecstatic that I left only one 16 mark question but, this girl is worried…… had I left only one 2 mark, I would have treated all my friends in the nayar tea shop. I moved forward, finally I met a group who were revising important points. Finally I started to learn some thing. I was without luck that day.
The short bell rang. It meant that there was only 5 minutes for the exam to start.

All the students (including me) described above may have different ways of preparing for the exam but, our goals are one and the same. CLEAR the paper. Like they say, there is unity in diversity in this country. The dialogue which gave me the shock ran in my mind.

6:30 AM

Me: hello da, have you studied?
Friend: some what, what about you?
Me: last unit da, heuristic techniques remaining.
Friend: what? It is signal processing.
Me: yei, its algorithm paper na?
Friend: no da its tomorrow, its electronics today.

I had studied the wrong paper.

I laughed at myself. Suddenly I was happy. I went to the middle of the hall and shouted “PAPPARA PAPARA PAAA……”
Every one understood and laughed and went to write the exam.

Epilogue :

I received the question paper.

It looked Greek and Latin to me. There was a murmur that the paper was tough. I laughed, tough or easy it is one and the same for me.

Two months later the results came. I had scored 2 marks. I still gave a treat to my friends in the nayar tea shop. I thought I was the last in the department. Thank god there was one guy who had scored 0. Deserves a treat doesn’t it?

O.k. people until I meet u next time, the cost of one set dosa will be 7 rupees at Ganesh bhavan, Westmambalam.

Samsung monitor

Hai to all the fellow bloggers

My first experience with anything has always been a comedy. my first blog is no exception.

My first blog

I am mad ........ nobody would sit in front of the monitor and stare at a blank screen for one full hour would they?

well, I did.

why i did it? because I am mad..

I was thinking about what to write in my first blog post. It was 12'oclock when i started thinking.At first my mind was fresh. I wanted to write about me........

"The only interesting thing about me is that I was born on the leap year day of 1984".

All the other things about me would sound like a documentary film on some day of the history on which nothing happened. It was 12:15 when i quit this idea of writing about me. I finished my college only two days ago.

I wanted to write about my college......

Given a choice to choose between the documentary described above or my college , you would watch the documentary 100 times. It was 12:30 when i quit the idea of writing about my college.For the next half hour my mind was flooded with so many ideas that i prioritised them and and started applying algorithms to select the best.( you guessed it right. I am a computer science engineer).It was 1'0 clock when i arrived at an inference.

Inference: Everything becomes blurry if u stare at a blank screen for one hour .

With no topic in my mind and blurriness in my eyes i decided to write wut i have written above.

I hope I write something sensible in my next post . Till then Delhi will be the capital of India.